In view of my new blogger friendly hobby...

I've decided to document my life a little more. I never was very good at journaling so in a way this will be my journal... we'll see how long it lasts... today's theme, however, was chosen for me...

After class I gathered some things and stepped into the elevator to descend from my fourth floor room to the basement that exits into the parking lot. Here I searched out my car and drove the 50 min. to a once welcoming home full of people, love, and laughter. No one was there when I arrived... I was just me facing this:

The family room stacked high of boxes each containing a significant item in my life from one period or another. Each hastily packed by uncaring hands eager to clear them from their place to make room for new guests. Thank goodness my mom was offering some supervision. At least enough to rescue possessions I've saved for years that were quickly chucked into a garbage bag as worthless...

And now to face it one more time... one last time... This tomb-like door once bore memories and celebrations of me welcoming visitors in... now it stands a barrier separating the past from the future....

This sticker stays almost alone... a testimony of what once was... in many ways it represents the present also... "Vintage Wash".... just as I have been washed from and out of this place...

I open the door to familiar colors... however all else familiar is gone... this is the last time I shall see this place... after tomorrow it will belong to two brothers in the gospel... two beings I've never met in this life will reside in what was once my sanctuary... I truly have no where to run now... no where to hide...

Everything empty like being rubbed out of the world... I guess every ending is a beginning but I'm not prepared to start new...I'm not prepared for this...

Good bye fabulous green and purple light switch... may you service someone far more worthy of you when I leave...

Then back to the pity party... I'm not sure humbling is the right word for this one... However, nothing makes you feel more like dirt than looking into a garbage bag filled with things you loved so much and cherished so dear knowing someone else deemed them garbage... not only that, but did so before even removing them from their given spot but literally ripping them down... not caring what damage or mishap comes to them in the process... seriously... what mormons tear mormonads???

Still sorting.... will my life forever more be banished to boxes? where will i take these? where will they find a new home? Where will i find ground to root again???

Well... at least these can come with me to skewl... Good bye hallway... May the Spirit be strong with you as the missionaries fill your hollow spaces!

Friday Night Lights

SO seriously... you drive 2 hours for a homecoming game & dance. Set up a great background and sit around and wait for students to love it.... 8:30 dance starts... 9:00 students start spilling in from game... 9:30 minimal interest but no purchases... 10:00 nothing.... no one comes to check on you... 11:00 still no students... what do you do?











You take 20+ shots of your brother (the real photographer) and his new wife (who came along for the ride) only for him to choose 5 to upload to his facebook... Good luck seeing any of the others!

12:00 the students are dispersing... still no purchases... still no one checking on you... so you go in search of someone in charge... she can't believe you took no pictures & tells you to pack up and go home as she tears decorations from the wall... if you'd have told her that at 10pm she'd have let you leave then.... Instead of clocking out at 3:30am you could have been in bed by 2am... maybe.... the possibilities those 2 hours could have held are endless...

instead you pack up and stop at a truck stop just down the street... a quick bathroom break and McDonald's chicken sandwich (the first thing you've eaten since 2 burritos on the way to work around 10:30 that morning) and your back on the road... at least you're in the back sleeping right? let the happy couple get you home safe... Cheers to the road and early mornings :-D

UT Babysitting

WHAT A FUN FILLED UT DAY!!!!!!! THESE ARE SOME OF THE CUTEST BOYS EVER!!!!! :-D

WOW!

The spirit works in miraculous ways. You never know what it's gonna throw your way. I can't imagine anything being different right now, but if you'd told me that this would happen years, months, even weeks ago, I would have never believed you. I am so grateful for the gift of the Holy Ghost in my life. I have such a strong testimony of the gospel. There is no doubt in my mind that it is true. The past month or so were depressing. I didn't want to let go of my pain and grief and so it only grew stronger. It helped no one though! Then, we had a visit from Elder Pearson, a 70, and Elder Bednar, an apostle. I prepared the best I knew how to receive direction from the Lord. I left that night happier than I'd been in a long time & I never went back. The spirit heals if we allow it too. On only 5 hours of sleep, I worked a 12 hour shift the following day. Though I was in a school cafeteria with no air conditioning and people I don't particularly care to be around, I felt all day as if I were walking on clouds. I was tired, but I was whole! The next week was amazing. The Lord sees opportunity we never imagine and pushes us through the door if we let him direct. I'm so glad I listened. Even as I made the first several steps I was skeptical, but my faith overpowered my doubts until they all but disappeared. I am certain I am living the life the Lord wants me to right now. I look forward to each minute of each day of each month of each year to come. May you look for the Lord and recieve blessings in all things.