Random feelings and writing mostly about me

It's Been A Long Time....

2011-10-12T21:39:00.002-04:00

Ok.... so I'm not sure if anyone will even read this. I'm not sure if it'll be another year or so before I post again or not. However, here I am. So I thought I'd post. Despite the fact that this blog needs a total makeover, it will not happen tonight. However, much has happened since my last carefree single trip to my sister's in my last post. Last April I went on my first date with the man I will spend eternity with. Then, in August after traveling with him and my sister's family for a week (stopping at various tourist attractions along the way) to my brother's wedding in Texas, I went to Disney World: to live, to work, and to play. My dear husband-to-be however was not thrilled I was hours away and Disney will forever now be the "other man" in our relationship. :-/ lol... But fortunately for him, I questioned my motives and returned home early. We pushed up the date and married for time and all eternity in the Nashville Tennessee Temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints on 30 October 2010 (Halloween was on Sun.). We have had many memorable moments since then including a week vacation (for an official honeymoon) over spring break to Nauvoo, IL and other various church sites. Now, we are looking forward to closing on our first house on friday and moving on sat. If you're lucky, I might find time and room in our new house to try really blogging again. Or maybe if you're not so lucky. Until then, enjoy the bliss of other bloggers! :-)

Week In Alabama

2009-12-18T21:37:00.002-05:00

Spent this week at my sister's house with her really cute family!!!! Look at my neices: Katie (6 yrs in January!), Megan (3), & Peyton (20 months). It was an awesome week though everyone who never calls me needed me this week ;-) lol... even got a call from my hairdresser who was worried because she hadn't seen me since May! lol...

After church on Sunday, the family had a pic with their Santa in the front yard. Aren't my sister and her family the cutest???

Then we went to dance class on Monday night for visitor's class. This is Megan's tap dance!

Then, it was Katie's turn. This was her round-off!

>

This was Katie's school party... Guess who played Santa???? ;-) (Nathan!!) Had lots of other fun this week! Miss you all!!!! Hope you enjoyed the pictures!

LMU QEP Wordle

2009-08-31T15:50:00.000-04:00

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My album cover - Beautiful Illusions, "He Has Never Known Fear"

2009-02-26T23:04:00.001-05:00

1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit "random"or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to "Random quotations"or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.

5 - Post this text in a blog under you album so your friends can try it out too! :-D

Blogging in Word 2007

2009-01-29T13:21:00.002-05:00

Thanks to Word 2007, I can now create and post blogs straight from the word processor.

Los gracias a la palabra 2007, puedo ahora crear y plantear blogs derecho del procesador de textos.

I guess it's finally time...

2009-01-05T13:32:00.004-05:00

to catch up on some old posts! lol... Been kinda tired lately. Funny how you can be so excited to do something and then... don't care! ;-) lol.... but I do. I'm finally back at school. Classes start tomorrow :-P. I'm not terribly excited. Still, it's ok. I've spent the last two days reading a book trilogy I really can't wait to finish. But I guess I have to wait til Paige brings me the third book tomorrow :-P. lol... but enough of that. It's time to post! (about Christmas, etc. DUH!) ;-)

Ok... so December 20th, I got up early, mailed a package at the post office. and (with a few things in between) headed to meet my high school buds at wal-mart to go to Ihop for... brunch? We have an annual tradition to meet somewhere for Thanksgiving and draw names and then meet for Christmas and exchange. It's fun! Means we see each other at least twice a year! lol.... so anyway, starting last year we decided to do themes. It makes it easier to shop & just as enjoyable. Last year, we all bought t-shirts from our school. This year, we decided on scarves. In the crafty spirit this year, I decided to make mine. I mean it's not that hard right. I wasn't planning on knitting or crocheting (mostly cause I don't know how despite I've been taught to crochet probably 5 times. I just never remember after the initial lesson :-P lol). I was really excited about the way my scarf turned out actually. Just nervous my friend Paige wouldn't like it. It looked more like a SHana scarf to me and I was sad I hadn't found the color scheme I'd been hoping for in my limited selection of Wal-mart fleece. But here it is none the less.

Cute as could me if I do say so myself ;-). And Paige luvs it (at least she says so) & her mom complimented me on it as well. I'm glad. Though the worse part was the tassels. My poor blistered fingers couldn't even open the well taped box Brittany gave my scarf to me in. But it faded quickly & was hardly noticeable the next day.

Camilla & Brittany modeling there new scarves. (stolen from facebook ;-) Thanx Shana)

Paige, me, and Shana with our new scarves! What a great brunch we had! It was so much fun!

AFterward, I took off for Alabama to my sister's family! (MOre on that later. I suspect they'll be a few catch up posts). The rain was horrid though and made the drive long. But the end result was worth it and thankfully I made it safely! :-D

PROJECT #2

2008-12-15T17:22:00.003-05:00

IS FINISHED!!! :-D Man, I can't wait til Christmas is over to show you guys these great gifts! lol... I'm so proud that they're actually turning out. You know what else this means though???? YEP! THis mornin after my shower I headed back up to skewl & Picked up my package!!!!! :-D I was so happy to finally get it! It's great! After refilling my tank (for only $9.10 I must add), I went home & immediately started working! It took less than 3 hrs to do project 2! I think I'll go eat when I'm done with this & start on the next one! :-D lol... I'm so happy. (& hungry since I haven't eaten today only drank some egg nog & some water this morn)... HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Only 10 more days til Christmas!!! & only 5 more days til I go see my neices and sister (& Nathan too ;-) lol) again!!! :-D YAY! This is gonna be a great Christmas with family. Grandma B's even coming down from PA to spend Christmas with us! I'm so happy! Homemade gifts, Grandparents, Neices, Siblings, Mommy, and all the other wonderful things about Christmas.... :-D

If you can't tell I'm just a little excited! lol... MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! I LUV U!!!!!

I just finished...

2008-12-14T00:23:00.002-05:00

Project #1... I can't wait to show you pictures! But I don't want to chance spoiling Christmas so you'll have to wait. But it's great! I wish I could show you now. I'm so happy!!! :-D

& I must thank CALLY for sharing the Cheryl flower with us. I hope she'll enjoy how I incorporated it into this one... I really do love it!!! THANK YOU!!! :-D

Luv u.... ttyl

Party City...

2008-12-11T23:28:00.002-05:00

Your receipt caused me great grief. How ever it managed to get into the printer I don't know! But once I found it & fished it out, the printer printed. No more paper feed problem. In fact, lots of cute pictures now printed! YAY! Joann.com... don't think this gets you out of hot water. I'm still sad you haven't shipped! But for now, I rest easy. My printer prints. At least one project, perhaps will get done. Unfortunately, it also still waits on a package not yet in the mail!

:-P MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Frustration....

2008-12-11T18:26:00.003-05:00

NORMALLY, Christmas doesn't really stress me out. I enjoy it. Go with the flow and everything will work out. Besides, it's suppose to be a spiritual filled time and who can feel the spirit when they're pullin' their hair out and their eyeballs are poppin out of their head???? NO one... I mean come on really?

THis year, however, Christmas seems to have snuck up out of no where! I cannot believe there are only 14 days left... that's two weeks!!! In other words, projects are pilin' up and all I can do is grieve and curse technology. That's right. I ordered fabric online thinking it'd be better that way. After 1 1/2 weeks, they haven't even finished processing & shipped it yet! I didn't order that much. REALLY! I'm very agitated about that too cause I gave them my school address for shipping. And after tomorrow I can't be in my dorm anymore so I'll be at home. Which means I'll have to drive an hour just to check my po box to see if it came... :-( Not happy! at all!

On top of that... It's pouring today. & it's cold! so I had to walk across campus to check the box in the rain... before I realized I could check the status online... and then unhappy that it wasn't here... i walked back across campus in the rain... soaked. ONce again... NOT happy!

On top of that, I tried to do the printing part of one of my projects... and now my printer won't feed paper. Who knows y!?! It just won't. It hates me. I'm hurt by it's betrayal. I want to smash it on the tile floor into a billion pieces to show it how it pains me. But that won't solve anything, so I resist temptation. Stupid printer.

So I tried to finish the RS newsletter that I'd forgotten to do for this month. It's done... except there's a line in the wrong place and dumb microsoft word won't let me drag it out of the way. :-P ... seriously... is this gang up on may day?

I thought I was gonna hang out with some friends today. But they never called, or text, or anything. So except for goin' to take my acct final at 8am this mornin' & then walkin' to the mailbox in the pooring rain & back... I haven't left my room. Yeah... these walls excite me... not.... I'm feeling claustophobic, alone, and hated by technology. Stupid technology.

The only thing mom could say was that it might snow. Thanks mom. That's exactly what I need. It'll solve all my problems. It'll (NOT) make my package here faster. It'll make it even colder. It'll make the wet curvy roads outside between here & anywhere icy. It'll make carrying my things that I need over Christmas break to the car a wet, cold, slippery trip after trip after trip. Yeah, I can't wait. Bring on the snow. Maybe it'll bury me alive and I'll die asleep in a cold snowbank... ok not really since I'm inside... but just a thought. a bad one. i'm sry. It's just not been a good day. I'm mad. I just want my things to work the way they're suppose to so I can finish my projects. I was so excited about Christmas. Now I have nothing. And not only that but I have to figure out how to pay for school next semester and hold all my other wishes and dreams together. I don't like the big world. Won't some masculine prince come rescue me and protect me from the evil world and take care of me for the rest of my life so we can live happily ever after?

...

well it was worth a try. Besides, my prince probably doesn't even know I exist. Or he's so busy looking for world peace he hasn't had time to settle down. Or maybe he's fighting a dragon up in the mountains and can't come find me cause he's saving all those other people. who knows.... but i wait. and I try to busy myself in the meantime. I try to be noteworthy and noticeable. Perhaps my crafts and cookies will work their way into someone's heart someday. After all, the best way to a man's heart's through his stomach right?

Fall Break

2008-11-30T22:12:00.006-05:00

So... LMU has this great plan where it wears us out by not giving us any breaks for months and we get so sick of skewl... then finally they give us a week fall/THanksgiving break. The week is nice but sooner would be nicer. After this week of break we have one week of classes & then a week of finals... so usually break should be spent doing homework or some form of study anyway. SInce I did none.... I'll be swamped in business this week.... but it was worth it.

Wed. night I worked on packing, cleaned up my room, and set up some Christmas decorations.

Thurs. morning I went to my classes, packed the rest of my stuff, took care of a few other things, and finally Thurs. afternoon I left to go visit my sister & her fam. They are VERY cute by the way!

Unfortunately I didn't really take any pictures on fall break. In fact below is the only photo I took. It was Friday and Megan declared she wanted to take a picture as we were trying to get her out of the car to visit teach one of Miranda's sisters.

After that we had lunch with a superhero... yep... well we had lunch with Katie at skewl. It was pizza day. But Katie of course is just the alternate personality for Violet. Yep, this girl's awesome. She's kickin it in Preschool. She luvs to read! (well she can't really read yet but loves to be read to & luvs to look at books & even is pretty good at remembering the stories to retell to someone else if they're lookin at the book with her) Yep, she's definitely a superhero.

Of course Megan's a superhero too. SHe's incredible! She's 2 but she understands one to one correspondence really well. She luvs to dance. And she talks great! This superhero will definitley zoom to the top of her class once she gets in school. I'm sure of it. Yep! Not too mention she always gets a cookie when we go to the store! ;-)

But we must not forget Peyton. She is in fact a superhero also. At 7 months she's letting her intelligence be known too. She absolutely LOVES to jump in her jumper. SHe wears me out. I could never jump that much and that many times in a row... she just goes and goes and goes. & she luvs it! She laughs more than any other time I think. OF course she's a very happy and well behaved baby hero. She's not really crawling or standing yet but she's close. It's exciting!

And never forget SuperMom! Without her life just couldn't go on.... Who would change the diapers, wipe the bottoms, change their clothes, make their costumes, make meals, make cupcakes and sew blankets for dad's work, read bedtime stories, take them to church, school, and dance class, and still have time for other fun mommy things all in a weeks time??? THis supermom surely deserves her title!

But of course mom can't do it all on his own (even if it seems like it sometimes). Mr. Incredible goes to the office all day to bring in the money. WHen he's home he plays games with his girls and also enjoys taking them to dance class and other fun places.

What a SUPER family! Our visit was terrific. Wednesday we headed back to Knoxville to spend Thanksgiving with our fams.

What great fun it was too! Our dinner count was at 14 plus a late straggler: THe super fam (5), Mom, Simon, & I (3), Grandma & Grandpa Miller (2), Todd & Jacob (2), and the missionaries: Elder Walkey & Elder Llewellyn(2). Arthur came later but not long before the Super fam & Todd & Jacob left. It was a great day though. We had lots to be thankful for. Also I was able to introduce my bro & some other family members & friends to one of my favorite games throughout the rest of that week.

Yep... Yep... Guess What!?!

I have a Green Apple.......... and it's LUCIOUS! ;-)

oh also

Canadians are pretty kewl... they eat Rockets!

Because I was tagged...

2008-11-30T21:16:00.004-05:00

by Katy. In return I hold no one accountable for doing this survey... but if you have nothing better to do with your time or just feel froggy here are a few people I could tag Tonya, Phil, Terra, Leanna, Mandy, Robyn, Katie, & whoever else happens to read my blog cause honestly I'm not even sure all these people do (only like 3 people have ever commented).

1. Do you like blue cheese? not really

2. Do you own a gun? Nope... unless u count my glue gun! ;-)

3. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? Ummmm... I usually just get Ocean water or root beer actually

4. Do you get nervous before doctor Appointments? Not that I recall but I haven't had many

5. What do you think of hot dogs? Sometimes I'm in the mood to eat them but can live with out them.

6. Favorite Christmas movie? Hard to pick just one but Elf is great!

7. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Water.... sometimes other things like orange juice or egg nog or milk, etc.

8. Can you do push-ups? Not well

9. Age? 21 or 8552... besides u might not believe me anyway

10.What's your favorite piece of jewelry? MY CTR ring I guess... & my class ring but I don't know what happened to it :'(

11. Favorite hobby? Crafting, reading, acting, drawing... I can't pick just one. THey change with my moods anyway. Most recently I've made peanut butter balls & other cookies/treats, read lots, and sewed (by hand and some by machine)

12. Favorite Actor? Don't really have one... always like Sean Connery & Harrison Ford... but no real favs... like others too... Johnny Depp's always awesome

13. Do you have A.D.D.? I don't think so but I do get distracted easily when I do things that require focus or concentration & tangents are inevitable in any story or point I'm trying to make.

14. What's one trait you hate about yourself? Bad memory

15. Middle name? Fayhr

16. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: 1-Had a good Thanksgiving 2-Miss my company 3- Not looking forward to school the next two weeks

17. Name 3 things you bought yesterday/today: Yesterday 1-Lunch, 2- peanut butter, 3-chocolate bark coating (for candy making)

18. 3 drinks you regularly drink? 1- Water, 2- Water, 3- Root Beer

19. 3 Current worries? 1- Affording skewl next semester. 2- Not having much space to call my own & keep my things in. 3- Way too much homework that should already be done!

20. Favorite place to be? WIth friends or family.

21. How did you bring in the New Year? I think we were in OH at my Aunt & Uncle's place with lots of family. If I recall I was cleaning up some mysterious spilled milk while everyone else celebrated... maybe that was 2 years ago. what DID I do last year?

22. Where would you like to go? Ireland maybe... but if I leave the country they might not let me give blook anymore & I like doing that. :-(

23. Tag three to six people: see intro

24. Do you own slippers? Yes

25. What shirt are you wearing? White cami under yellow tee

26. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? it's alright

27. Can you whistle? some.

28. Favorite color? Green

29. Would you be a pirate? The idea is fun but I don't really think the pirate life's fer me.

30. What songs do you sing in the shower? Usually none cause if I sing it seems to take longer for some unknown reason I can't explain. but sometimes I just sing how I feel however I want. If I'm in the mood I may even try to make it sound songlike with repetitive lyrics and stuff... but usually nothing

31. Favorite girl's name? boy's name? Girls: Antoinette, Samantha, Molly, Mallory, Marie, etc. Boys: Andrew, Antonio, Bartholomew, Daniel, Henry, Jared, etc.

32. What is in your pocket? No pocket

33. Last thing that made you laugh? Don't remember... probably something in a blog or on facebook or something like that...

34. Best bed sheets as a child? Don't really remember any

35. Worst injury you've ever had? idk... when I was little I cut my head on a concrete cinderblock... long story... not real bad though... probably nothing worse really.

36. How many TVs do you own? personally... none. my fam as a couple i think but only 1 works at our house.

37. Who is your loudest friend? Rick... probably.

38. How many dogs do you have? Fam have 2.

39. Does someone have a crush on you? I don't know of anyone really

40. What is your favorite book(S)? The scripture, Preach my Gospel, other than that don't really know

41. Where were you born? OH... IO! ;-)

42. What is your favorite candy? probably fruit candy like skittles & starburst & also Reeces' (both cups & pieces), also like rockets ;-) lol

43. Favorite Sports Teams? don't really have one honestly

44. What songs do you want played at your funeral? Ummm....It's my party??? ;-) lol... idk. don't really care.

45.What are you doing at 12 A.M.? Often I can be found here at the comp or at a friend's dorm still... sometimes sleeping though.

46. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? was surprised that my alarm was goin' off & I hadn't heard it already though I'd been stirring awhile.

47. Do you live away from your home town? Where are you currently? Define hometown. live very far from birthplace. college is a little far from "home"

48. Do you like to celebrate the holidays? USUALLY...

49. Do you own/use exercise equipment, if so what kind? have a yoga mat & dvd... but haven't used it. used the treadmill in the dorm a few times. ran around the arena a little (own running shoes)... mostly just walk to class, etc.

50. What do you think of this long list of questions? It was fine. should probably be doin' more useful things but it's fun to learn about others!

For Fun

2008-11-30T20:23:00.003-05:00

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car) Halloween Saturn

2. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR'S NAME: ("The" + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”) The Homemade Sun Tour

3. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie) Vanilla Pumpkin

4. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name) M-Buc

5. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME:(fave color, fave pet) Green Sugar

6. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) Fayhr Chardon

7. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first) Bucma

8. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The" + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink) The Purple Agua

9. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers or grandmothers) Emma Carol

10. STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy) Cucumber Melon Skittles

11. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names ) Faith Martin

12. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter) Lei Lethbridge

13. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower) Fall Tulip

14. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”) : Banana Camie

15. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree) Pecan Pie Willow

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

2008-10-31T16:56:00.002-04:00

Someday, (hopefully 4 days or less) I will have my computer back in working condition. That is I hope they can fix it! When that day comes & I am no longer confined to the use of library & school computer lab comps, I shall add photos to commemorate the holiday. For now... u'll just have to look at everyone else's fantastically decorated blogs & dream of what mine COULD look like if technology didn't feel the need to constantly remind us who's really in charge. THe fact is.... I'm a loser! When it comes to beating the computer anyway... lol.. but soon I hope I shall win another battle... otherwise... I think I will just cry for a very long time! ;-) HOpe everyone has a fantastic Halloween & hopefully see u soon! TTYL

Well...

2008-10-30T11:16:00.003-04:00

THe worst is over... or is it yet to come? Hard to say... Hopefully, my computer will be fixed starting today.... who knows when I'll actually acquire the working product again? Idk... I'm just too busy. But, I go to knoxville today... shop a bit at Party City & then meet Jay at Best Buy. The Geek Squad better be good... Tomorrow... HAPPY HALLOWEEN... at least it better be happy ;-) lol
First class (maybe dress up before... maybe after... idk) Then, Party preparations... cupcakes, costumes, etc. It's gonna be great. Sat? Well of course! It's RIkki's wedding! YAY! Maybe afterward I'll head down to the Fall Festival at the Hartz farm... hard to say. That's a tight squeeze. Plus I have a SUnday lesson to finalize between now & then & a newsletter to put together... which I remind u isnt' easy with a broken comp.. :-P Thank goodness for libraries... what next? SUNDAY.... A special day! For more than one reason of course.... I won't go into all of them, but for one it's Fast Sunday which is uber exciting! & I get to teach R.S. (or have to whichever ;-) lol)..... I know there's something else.... I'll let you figure it out. THere are probably several I'm leaving out really! :-D well... off to lunch & get ready for the weekend! Toodles...

ME

Just to update

2008-10-27T09:34:00.003-04:00

Everything is ok... well except my computer.. it's still not working :'( The "Mister" Katy Beth mentioned in the last post was an ex. He was my best friend but we broke up for religious purposes... I'm sure u understand ;-)... anyway, I never saw or heard from him, but I'm not sure anyone else on campus did either. Doesn't matter though, I went to dinner with some awesome people & then to the Hallowfest Dance (YSA). It was fun & the rest of the evening unfolded quite unexpectedly... let's just say, I'm interested to see how this continues to unfold. Other than that... no details here.. for now. U wanna know... call me! ;-) I'll think abt tellin' u.. lol... luv u guys... ttyl

Well...

2008-10-24T14:15:00.003-04:00

Here comes the weekend again! lol.... but that's not that bad. What's BAD!?!?! MY STUPID COMPUTER WON'T WORK!!!! :'( It's only a year old and it's having problems... I'm SOOO MAD! I've done system recovery on it like 10 times and windows just won't load. I got so sick of looking at the black screen of death that I left. I needed to get some homework done anyway. Homework which coincidentally I need the internet to get to & a computer to complete. :-P So I'm in the Tagge Center wishin' my computer hadn't betrayed me. It's usually my staple to the outside world during the weekend too. Guess it won't be now. At least I have the Hallowfest tomorrow night & church all day Sun. what I'll do til than though is uncertain. Seeing that the person I love more than any other is going to be in town and I probably won't get to spend much time with him, I'll be trying even harder than normal to fight the impedeing lonliness. Maybe I'll make friends with more of my projects since I've already cleaned my room in anticipation... what to do... what to do...

well peace... til I come back into cyberspace again.

WEEKENDS!

2008-10-18T12:46:00.004-04:00

Everyone looks forward to the weekends, right? No matter what the reason... no work, no school, hubby's home,... whatever! I doesn't matter. THe weekends just always seem like the light at the end of a long dark tunnel. With my busy week packed full of class, homework, play rehearsals, line studying, occasional work, institute, and other various church activities and projects that come along with my R.S. calling... the weekend often seems it will never come but is a welcomed breath of fresh air. At least for the first hour or so. Especially sleeping in on Saturday mornings. But then I remember that everyone else on campus went home. I remember that I'm an hour away from mine and yet feel so much further. I remember that gas is expensive and the economy is suffering, and I'm hardly working and earning money anymore. I remember that goin' home just doesn't seem conceivable with the hour & twenty min drive I make two ways every Sunday for church. So then, what? I sit in my dorm and waste endless hours on the computer? I finish some of the projects I should have finished long ago! Many of them I get out to work on and just stare at with incompetence and realize why they've barely been started. I just need help with somethings. But no one is here to help... I'm practically alone. I oddly enough I can't wait for the weekend to end and people to come back. So that I can beg them to spend time with me when I'm not busy and they are... and no one has time... and the cycle continues. It's an ugly cycle & the only exception is Sundays when I sacrifice and journey across my homeland to the people who love me and take care of me & I open my gaping hole and let the spirit pour into it and fill it up & I'm happy & I feel loved & I know everything will be fine! THose are good days. Sundays, the Holy Sabbath is never part of the weekend. It's its own special part of the week & it is most beloved!

Once again... REALLY busy

2008-10-16T14:12:00.005-04:00

but here's a tidbit to hold you over for a bit. Anyone who hasn't read Lori's new post should just so they can realize just how oblivious and moronic people can be sometimes... Here's a link The Third Trimester / You be the Judge
(At least I hope it works.... It's been known not too. :-P)

So the other reason for telling you to read this post is because it inspired me to tell my own embarassing "pregnancy story" about moronic people.

As some or many of you know I work for Lifetouch NSS as a Costumer Service Rep. During the summer our main focus is Senior pictures. During the week I usually travel around with groups of photographers to different schools in the area. While the photographers are busy taking beautiful memories, my job is to check each student in and receive their payment. If I have time, I also help "dress" the students for their formal & Cap & Gown pictures. On one such occasion, we were visiting one of our lower income schools. We were located in an auditorium. The photographers were set up on the stage and I was in the aisle below. After her student checked in and I dressed them for their formal picture, a mother in the front row of seats addressed me as I took my seat. Knowing now what she said I could tell you, but I feel it more suspenseful to wait. I had not understood her question and thus stood back up and moved closer to her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't understand what you said."

"Are you pregnent?"

"No. I just work long hours sitting at a table and don't get to exercise much."

"Oh. Yeah, people tell me I need to go on a diet all the time. I tell them that I have an eating disorder that causes everything I eat to go straight to my stomach... and I'm pregnant."

Awkward conversation ensues and I return to my table. Yes she was pregnant. So I can make an exception I suppose for that. Other circumstances which can be considered prejudices or generalizations may also "justify" her comment. However do to the fact that they may offend someone I won't mention them. But wow!?! I didn't know what to say & she obviously had not felt she had offended me in anyway or that she should apologize for calling me fat. Also... I was wearing black that day. Go figure. I didn't think I was that fat...

Oh well... I luv myself ;-) ... & I've been running this week :-P Shin splints are the devil!!!

EVERYBODY LOVES FREE!!!

2008-10-08T14:45:00.004-04:00

And Girls love FASHION! Especially handbags!! So go check out http://www.handbagplanet.com/ and enter for a chance to win a FREE handbag of YOUR CHOICE!!!

A recap

2008-10-01T22:42:00.005-04:00

Though I considered putting this off, I feared Katie might die in suspense if I did not post soon... So, I decided to take the pics I've taken in plans to blog and do a recap.

The first pictures... of course... represent CUTE shoe day. Compliments of such shoes can be found (surprised or not) at your local Wal-Mart for $9 (unless they have sold out or price varies for whatever reason...).

My cute shoes carried me to Econ this day for a test. Afterwards, I snapped a goodbye shot of the Business/Education Building through my rearside window before returning to my dorm.

Later that evening I tried to construct my own header in hopes of personalizing my blog. Though I have not yet completely personalized it as I wish, each entry becomes slightly fancier and I did finally create a somewhat satisfactory header. Below was the beginning picture...

Wal-Mart trips are always fun. In the event of an attack, however, camera flashes work as great weapons! This picture of a great friend was snapped of an already blinded volunteer after a whole evening of fun!

Another Tuesday and another day of work... Sevier County Order Assistance... Appointments from 3-7:40pm... Six Customer Service Representatives, including myself, to wait on them.... A LONG NIGHT!!! However, it proved to be fruitful. There will certainly be good commission off of this one for me!!! :-D

Which brings us to today! Classes... lunch... Wii/Mario Party with some friends... more class... a LONG nap (which lasted longer than liked due to alarm not going off)... Rehearsal... You get the idea. Lol... Not only that but I think I'm developing a sinus infection! Not fun at all... but my left gland in my neck is definitely swollen. SO with a headache, I returned to my room after rehearsal to find that my board had fallen... :-P So I took a sinus pill and went to work. My bathroom still needs to be cleaned horribly! But my board is returned to it's proper space & my Halloween decorations have been carefully placed around it. Perhaps not perfect yet, but this is some Awesome Door Decor!!! :-D

Well... that's all for now... PLEASE don't hold your breathe til the next one 'cause I have SOOOO much to do I shouldn't be sitting here now! ;-) lol... But I hope you enjoyed your read! Remember who you are and what your worth. I luv you and the Lord LOVES YOU GREATLY!!! Stay close to him and he will guide you. He sees what we cannot.

:-P

2008-10-01T10:00:00.003-04:00

SO I haven't had much to say for awhile & I've been really busy so even some of my planned blogs just didn't seem that kewl anymore! lol... but I thought I'd say hi to everyone in between Accounting & Econ since I'm just sitting here with nothing to do & I'll try to post more worthwhile later! ;-) Everyone have a FABULOUS day & remember that the Lord loves you!!!!

In view of my new blogger friendly hobby...

2008-09-23T23:04:00.004-04:00

I've decided to document my life a little more. I never was very good at journaling so in a way this will be my journal... we'll see how long it lasts... today's theme, however, was chosen for me...

After class I gathered some things and stepped into the elevator to descend from my fourth floor room to the basement that exits into the parking lot. Here I searched out my car and drove the 50 min. to a once welcoming home full of people, love, and laughter. No one was there when I arrived... I was just me facing this:

The family room stacked high of boxes each containing a significant item in my life from one period or another. Each hastily packed by uncaring hands eager to clear them from their place to make room for new guests. Thank goodness my mom was offering some supervision. At least enough to rescue possessions I've saved for years that were quickly chucked into a garbage bag as worthless...

And now to face it one more time... one last time... This tomb-like door once bore memories and celebrations of me welcoming visitors in... now it stands a barrier separating the past from the future....

This sticker stays almost alone... a testimony of what once was... in many ways it represents the present also... "Vintage Wash".... just as I have been washed from and out of this place...

I open the door to familiar colors... however all else familiar is gone... this is the last time I shall see this place... after tomorrow it will belong to two brothers in the gospel... two beings I've never met in this life will reside in what was once my sanctuary... I truly have no where to run now... no where to hide...

Everything empty like being rubbed out of the world... I guess every ending is a beginning but I'm not prepared to start new...I'm not prepared for this...

Good bye fabulous green and purple light switch... may you service someone far more worthy of you when I leave...

Then back to the pity party... I'm not sure humbling is the right word for this one... However, nothing makes you feel more like dirt than looking into a garbage bag filled with things you loved so much and cherished so dear knowing someone else deemed them garbage... not only that, but did so before even removing them from their given spot but literally ripping them down... not caring what damage or mishap comes to them in the process... seriously... what mormons tear mormonads???

Still sorting.... will my life forever more be banished to boxes? where will i take these? where will they find a new home? Where will i find ground to root again???

Well... at least these can come with me to skewl... Good bye hallway... May the Spirit be strong with you as the missionaries fill your hollow spaces!

Friday Night Lights

2008-09-22T17:00:00.002-04:00

SO seriously... you drive 2 hours for a homecoming game & dance. Set up a great background and sit around and wait for students to love it.... 8:30 dance starts... 9:00 students start spilling in from game... 9:30 minimal interest but no purchases... 10:00 nothing.... no one comes to check on you... 11:00 still no students... what do you do?

You take 20+ shots of your brother (the real photographer) and his new wife (who came along for the ride) only for him to choose 5 to upload to his facebook... Good luck seeing any of the others!

12:00 the students are dispersing... still no purchases... still no one checking on you... so you go in search of someone in charge... she can't believe you took no pictures & tells you to pack up and go home as she tears decorations from the wall... if you'd have told her that at 10pm she'd have let you leave then.... Instead of clocking out at 3:30am you could have been in bed by 2am... maybe.... the possibilities those 2 hours could have held are endless...

instead you pack up and stop at a truck stop just down the street... a quick bathroom break and McDonald's chicken sandwich (the first thing you've eaten since 2 burritos on the way to work around 10:30 that morning) and your back on the road... at least you're in the back sleeping right? let the happy couple get you home safe... Cheers to the road and early mornings :-D

UT Babysitting

2008-09-22T16:02:00.004-04:00

WHAT A FUN FILLED UT DAY!!!!!!! THESE ARE SOME OF THE CUTEST BOYS EVER!!!!! :-D

WOW!

2008-09-18T02:15:00.002-04:00

The spirit works in miraculous ways. You never know what it's gonna throw your way. I can't imagine anything being different right now, but if you'd told me that this would happen years, months, even weeks ago, I would have never believed you. I am so grateful for the gift of the Holy Ghost in my life. I have such a strong testimony of the gospel. There is no doubt in my mind that it is true. The past month or so were depressing. I didn't want to let go of my pain and grief and so it only grew stronger. It helped no one though! Then, we had a visit from Elder Pearson, a 70, and Elder Bednar, an apostle. I prepared the best I knew how to receive direction from the Lord. I left that night happier than I'd been in a long time & I never went back. The spirit heals if we allow it too. On only 5 hours of sleep, I worked a 12 hour shift the following day. Though I was in a school cafeteria with no air conditioning and people I don't particularly care to be around, I felt all day as if I were walking on clouds. I was tired, but I was whole! The next week was amazing. The Lord sees opportunity we never imagine and pushes us through the door if we let him direct. I'm so glad I listened. Even as I made the first several steps I was skeptical, but my faith overpowered my doubts until they all but disappeared. I am certain I am living the life the Lord wants me to right now. I look forward to each minute of each day of each month of each year to come. May you look for the Lord and recieve blessings in all things.

I Still MIss You

2008-08-29T23:24:00.001-04:00

I wanna be a ballerina!

2007-09-13T10:03:00.001-04:00

Love and Confusion

2007-09-06T17:05:00.000-04:00

It's so easy to become infatuated with love. We desire that person who will complete our soul and make us whole. It's easy, however, to "fall in love" with the wrong person. Something in us reaches out for them. Who knows what it is that tells our soul that they will make it happier. After awhile, it's difficult to resist. Like a craving for ice cream, we desire their presence. When we have it, however, it is not enough. We want their attention also.
But how do we know? How can you say they're wrong for you without giving them a chance? There are commonalities, of course, that you should probably share, but is anything important enough to refuse fate a chance when the pieces for magic are present? Often, it becomes easy when we've repeatedly faced chance only to receive great pain. Should we then give up?
My heart cries out, yet my mind hushes it. So many reasons why it should not be heard. Why repeat the pain you've faced so many times. He is not like you... He is not compatible with your ideal husband. Some may say you're too picky. Am I? Seems wrong to give in when you know you're right. But does that justify resistance? People can change; they usually don't. But should we deny them the chance?
Then again, does it really even matter. He may never feel the same anyway. Many tell me unknowingly that he won't, but I believe them to be joking. Are they more serious than I think? Or are they joking about the reason, but still he won't care? Will I ever know?
Then, there's the fact that there are other boys out there. Some fit my future husband profile and some don't. Some like me and some don't. By verbally acknowledging my feelings, will I crush someone else? Will I ruin a chance with someone more worthy?
Seems wrong to be alone sometimes. Seems wrong to do nothing about it sometimes. But what do you do? What chances can you take? Are they worth it? I don't know what to say or do... If only he would do or say something. SOmething to help me determine his feelings. I don't feel as if he shares them, but maybe he's scared. Maybe he thinks similar things as me. Or if someone else would speak up. If someone else desireable came forward, perhaps, I'd find my answer. I hope, however, not to face any uncomfortable situations. It's hard to say no when you don't feel the same. It is just as hard, however, to say yes.
Why is life so complicated? WHy is love so complicated? All I want is to knkow there is someone nearby who cares. That when I'm tired or sad, there's someone who will always be willing to hug, hold, or cuddle me. Someone who will laugh when I laugh, cry when I cry, or make me laugh when I cry.
I feel led to him. Yet, I feel powerless to do anyhting. I must let or make him make the first move. Still, it's not easy to wait, and what if I'm wrong? As long as I stay impartial, keep my eyes open for other options, does it matter? I'd be waiting anyway, right? These truths do not make it any easier. I still "love" him just as much...

Me

2007-08-24T22:56:00.000-04:00

When I say I'm sorry...

2007-08-23T20:23:00.000-04:00

Some things are not often contemplated, but when they are they won't leave you alone until you've successfully run them out of your system. I guess this is one that I need to get out of mine. So many people use "I'm sorry" and even frequently... but what does it mean? Each time said by each different person on each different occasion, it means something different. But what does it mean to u? and what does it mean to me?

When I say I"m sorry....

~ I realize I've made a major mistake

~ I reallize that I hurt someone very much or maybe just a little but because I care so much about them it hurts me even more to know they hurt.

~ I feel the pain I've caused even if they can't even see it themselves.

~ I want to wrap my arms around you and make you realize that everything can be ok and I wish I hadn't screwed up so royally.

~I feel deep in my soul that had anyone cause that much pain in that way to those closest to me I'd want to make them regret it.

~ I make myself regret it in a worse way than a sibling or cousin or friend, etc. of the one I hurt ever could.

~ I see the way things could have been if it weren't for my foibles and misgivings and wonder why I can't seem to keep myself from destroying beautiful things so often.

~ I see the pain in your eyes and feel it in your voice and it rends me into millions of tiny pieces.

~ I know things could never be the same and hope maybe they'll be better one day.

~ Perhaps it's worse than physical pain... no visible bruises, scars, scrapes, cuts, scabs, etc. will show but on the inside i've turned my heart black and blue

~ I wish I'd never done that to you

~ I wish I could take it all back.
... even all the happiness perhaps... for otherwise I could never cover up such burdens of anguish and crudeness

~ I wish you could see I only wanted happiness for us... you and me.
... maybe we can't be together, but it would have been so much better had I not inflicted so much pain.

~I'm sorry for the way it hurts, stings, bleeds, etc.

~I'm sorry for the pain that errupts at inoppurtune times or happiness causeing gloom to shield you from the sun

~I'm sorry for the memories that flash as you lay down to sleep at night, step into the shower in the morning, or simply blur in the drink on the table....

~I'm sorry. I am. I'm sorry. Sorry that I could never be just what made u happy despite the words that fell from your lips each day. Sorry that I ruined things by being lost in a new world as new whisperings curled off your tongue. Sorry that I'm imperfect when I yearned so much to be for you.

~I'm sorry that you never saw the real me before you fell into the deep. Sorry that you got tired of treading water before I could bail out the ship. Sorry that it took so long to fix the leak in the haul and water slowly seeped in higher and higher overhead. Sorry that it was too late, that the whole continued to widen and allow more threatening liquid in at a time. Sorry that it took so long for me to realize what was happening... and then it seemed to late. Sorry that such precious things drowned in that boat. Sorry... VERY SORRY..

~ I know that restitution is not possible but repentance is.

~ I know it doesn't matter much anymore to most, but it still means something to me. Though once Shipwrecked, I've found safety in my Savior. Carried to shore and saved from my own foolishness. It wasn't the first time and unfortunately probably won't be the last. But my ship is as new sailing above the condemning waves. I have grown richer from the voyage though in many ways I feel poorer. I have lost important treasure along the way. Someday, I will sail into the sunset and happily land in paradise to live joyfully. When this day comes, I will not return to the sea. I will be cured of the wonderings of the natural man... I will no longer need to travel.

~ I, most of all, hope you will forgive me truly and wholly and be able to repent yourself and know that you were forgiven by me before any crime was commited. I hope you will find joy and light and truth. I hope someday you may see me in that place of paradise contented from your own voyages and we may laugh and reminisce together about the folly we overcame. I hope that we will be able to share our families together and be as family whether in spirit alone or in complete entirety..... I hope the best for you.

When I say I'm sorry,
I say an awful lot.
It's hard to speak the words
I've felt within my heart.
But before we part,
I can not leave it be.
There's something I must say
buried deep within me.
As it floats to the top
of the feelings held inside,
I wonder why it's difficult
and why I want to hide.
So much more I could say
but will it cause more pain than good?
I'd rather not hurt you,
but I seek to be understood.
Finally my lips find the right words
the only thing left to say
"I'm sorry" my lips softly utter
and I hide the tears as I slowly walk away.